Collection of funny quotes

[A.P.]

Lets just collect a few funny quotes, ima make a real example:

@Amaterasu : "Ok, please get inside Pablo."
Jailbreak,
16:02; 23rd May 2k17

 

[scout | trade.tf]

Lets just collect a few funny quotes, ima make a real example:

@Amaterasu : "Ok, please get inside Pablo."
Jailbreak,
16:02; 23rd May 2k17

tell me your secret how your guides doesnt get the dumpster. mine ones always dissappear

 

[tomato.kitty.tf]

 

[scout | trade.tf]

wat oh that post when i did not know how 2 post threads now i know how but why do you bring this up now
wait are you trying to flame me boi

 

[Flynt]

that sounds like a shitty rap song

 

[Alex.bsp]

"Jezz @Fish-Related Crimes You're longer then Ben's bans"

I said this because I remember I saw a list of bans all from Ben, and fish made himself really long in game so this came out, lol.

" @AgentPiman : where can we adopt kids?
me : Pet Smart "

Idk.

 

[Wanka]

"GET UP YOU OLD SHART"
- Wanka, quoted from a CPR training session where he yelled at a dummy that had it's face smashed in

 

[AgentPiman]

*headshots somebody over and over*
Bonk Boy : agent congarts you have ben reported

 

[Console]

adrain : console is hax
console :

 

[DC Chroma]

So, is this any quotes? If it is, then don't mind me.

Medic/Dr. Ludwig: "So... who's ready to be a mother?"

 

[Jim]

*Someone uses call admin for a rude little boy*
*Jim connects to blackwonder server*
Some Guy who's name I forget: hey look an admin. When are you cock suckers gonna perma ban me?
*Gets perma banned*
The whole server: LOL
*Jim disconnects*

 

[FishCrimes]

Some context before I begin: I was at a friend's birthday party and will be referring to him as "DarkLord" (part of his steam user) to protect his identity. We were for some reason discussing McCree quotes and voicelines, specifically about the one where he says, "it's high noon somewhere in the world." He's also a bit overweight (yes, this is relevant).
Me: "It's lunchtime somewhere in the world."
DarkLord: "That kind of thinking is what makes me fat."
Later into the party...
DarkLord: "This may surprise you, but I actually either eat a very light breakfast or no breakfast at all."
Me: *Looking at his gut* "Yeah, we can tell."
DarkLord: "No seriously, I just make up for it in my other meals, and maybe take a little bit of interest. :^)"

It's funnier in tone than in text, but I felt as if the world needed to see this.

 

[A.P.]

@Wanka @Fish-Related Crimes can you delete one of the first posts that are not actually quotes? also good quotes @MajorityInHere

 

[trash can the bad samurai]

"fuck the church here's 95 reasons why" - Bill Wurtz

 

[Suicide]

*Moderating on blackwonder NY Jailbreak While talking on discord*
* @Jim hears the first words I say to my dad*
Jim: The first thing suicide is going to say is "Ya" when his dad calls him
*Dad comes in*
Dad: You lil shit, get off the computer.
Me: YA
Dad: Go take out the trash while you're at it
Me: YA
*I go take out the trash and come back*
*5 minutes later I come back to discord, but my brother calls me*
Brother: Get off the computer or I'll beat you up
Me: YA
Brother: And massage me too
Me: NA
*I get beat up*

 

[Darthie 2.0 (:]

"your opinion don't matter to me but ok". Drax blw.tf
Me thinking:"if someone said you were an awesome person would you still say their opinions don't matter to you?"

 

[Timo]

[SM] You do not have access to this command.
*DEAD* [Donor] Fluttercreep© :

 

[Console]

[CALLADMIN] Darwin reported Console for Hacking
Darwin left the game (Disconnect by user.)

 

[A.P.]

Corporal Leeroy Jenkins: "If any BLU is baiting you, you can kill their ass or something"
Jailbreak,
11:17:34; 28th May 2k17