You live a happy life in my great great great great great great great great great great great great (ok this is getting stupid) Great x42 grandma's standards, which means living in a cave and hunting for your food. (She kinda reminds me of my great great great great [REDACTED]) The ability to...

I did 2 do's. Go check it out. http://steamcommunity.com/id/Ascendtoday/myworkshopfiles/?section=guides

Your vocal cords will wear out after 1 screech, making you unable to speak. The ability to make 100 alternate youtube accounts in 1 minute.

Powerjack? Anyone???

After everyday you have to vomit because of the things you heard. The ability to projectile vomit at will.

But did you have a mic?

For every person you kill. The TF2 team loses 1 employee. The ability to have a really thick skull.

I do remember it was there at some point. "Healing a rebeller is becoming a rebeller"

ID Software disbands and no'one can sell the game anymore The ability to replace all game engines with Source. (I want to rocket jump in Overwatch k?)

Your tastebuds dissapear. The ability to create Half-Life 3

Everytime you sneeze, you get the feeling you're going to vomit. The ability to overclock your PC without melting the hardware.

You get socialphobia. You're immune to all diseases

You can type really fast. But its really hard to type the right letter. The ability to have a good laptop (i am in need of this)

Be sure to mash X + 5 You also forgot, throwing sandviches at enemies and teammates when they pass.

You forget how to swim and lose any buoyancy you have The ability to win a gold medal at the olympics

Everytime you use magic, you burn a random part of your body. (3rd degree burn)

Your anus gets 1000x smaller The ability to rip off your arm and reattach it

You talk in a volume that humans can't hear. (Elephants might find you attractive though) Ability to not suck at market gardening

Your muscles become too weak to pick up a bow The ability to make the gibus worth 100$.

I dont really know you either. I hope you like your new community!